I am a Christian. I am a gay man. Here is chronicle of my symbolic journey west, toward adventure, challenge, mystery and ultimately peace.

Friday, August 31, 2007

Ready to Rest

I am worn out. (Insert large sigh and exhale here.)

Once again, I'm here apologizing for not blogging. But honestly, life has been absolutely on fast forward lately. I would LOVE to get some rest.

For now, just be sure that I am still continuing the journey, and I hope to write about it more soon.

Hopefully soon, hopefully.

Happy Labor Day, everyone!

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

I Remember (Part 4)

Today is completely random. No big long stories to tell, just tiny little things that I figured every young boy thought growing up. Of course, none of this EVER was verbalized. The questions simply wandered around in my head, much like they do today.

I remember wondering why game shows never had male models. If the Price Is Right was going to give away a sailboat, why keep showing that busty Dianne in a one-piece? Maybe a shirtless guy in some board shorts would be nice.

I remember watching Miss America pageants and wondering when the male version of said event would be aired.

I remember actually seeing a clip from a male beauty pageant on a show like Entertainment Tonight. All those cute guys with great smiles and matching black and white speedos. Wow!!

I remember watching the summer Olympics, one of the rare times when this young boy, growing up with rabbit-ears TV in the country, could actually see swimming. Oh, those guys were so cute.

I remember not ever getting enough of watching Greg Louganis. (Maybe I had just an ounce of gay-dar, even back then.)

I remember being in junior high and visiting the metal shop owned by one of my Scout leaders. In his office, tacked to the wood paneling, was a pinup calendar of some lady wearing dental floss draped over a car. My reaction: Nice car. My second reaction: Why are the rest of the guys going nuts over that?

I remember church camp, when I had a really cute counselor. Unfortunately, I can't remember his name. Also unfortunately, he completely crushed my spirit me when he needed to borrow my flashlight, but couldn't remember my name, so he called me "Chubs."

I remember venturing into that one back-room at the video store and trying to rent straight porn (because I hadn't given much thought to being gay yet and I thought all guys watched porn), but leaving the store empty-handed because I didn't see any box covers that I thought would have enough "guy footage" for my taste.

I remember driving down Santa Monica Boulevard in West Hollywood years and years ago and thinking, "You know, here are some of the places I've seen on the web." I prayed to God that the people giving me a tour of LA didn't notice.

I remember a youth pastor once explaining how important it was to not look at a girl's breasts. I should "bounce my eyes up," to look away from her breasts and concentrate on her face. Until that day, I hadn't ever looked at a woman's breasts in that way.

And lastly, I remember *loving* December because all of the new calendars would be in the stores for me to look at while my mom was Chrismas shopping. One word: Chippendales.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

The Life Happened

I feel kinda bad that I haven't been blogging lately. First, I miss the connection to some of you other bloggers and readers. Second, I've short-changed myself by keeping a lot of stuff inside rather than working through it in this written forum.

But blogging has taken the back seat to this thing called LIFE. Things have gotten goofy around my work and I've little time or energy left by day's end.

Sorry folks. I hope to rejoin the blogging world soon. I do kinda miss you.