I am totally 100% ripping off someone else's words today. Specifically, I am borrowing from PomoProphet, and you ought to spend some time reading his blog. I use his words because so many times he has given me words for feelings and emotions that I could not figure out for myself. I swear he walks around in my head sometimes.
In his most recent post, he writes about going to a gay wedding, and concludes with these words:
On a personal note I admit that part of me is still uncomfortable with being gay. And with all the gayness I was surrounded by. I mean I spent almost 7 years in exgay ministries trying to change and thinking how horrible homosexuality is. That's alot of residue to deal with. And i'm not just going to change over night. I wish I was alot more comfortable. I wish I was more secure in my relationship with Jesus over this stuff. So I haven't arrived yet. I'm still a mess. And i've got to work on the negative feelings I still hold towards homosexuality. But what I saw in that wedding was beautiful. And I hope that it becomes alot more common place in the future and more people get to see how wonderful love can be.
I get that! I know appreciate those feelings and many days wonder if I will ever come out from under them. Though I did not spend a signficant amount of time in ex-gay ministries, the rest makes perfect sense to me.
Thanks, Pomo. I really appreciate you.
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5 comments:
What an honoring post. Thanks man! I am really humbled because all i've ever tried to do is be honest on this difficult life transition. I hope that one day life calms down... for all of us.
Maybe the reason you feel like i'm walking around inside your head is because of the commanility of being screwed up. Really. All humans share things like love and suffering. But also those of us who dare delve the depths of our souls realize how screwed up we are. In different ways, of course. But screwed up none the less.
Thanks for this post.
I'm not sure why it is that some of us have been spared things such as ex-gay "reorientation" and others are not, or some are granted an immediate and abiding peace as they begin a life of authenticity in regards to sexual orientation, and others are not. Grace, I guess. Not that some have more and some have less, but grace in that what we experience is really not about ourselves, but, if we allow the Spirit to guide, we become of greater "benefit", for lack of a better word, to those in need around us.
Just discovered your blog. Thanks for sharing! Still want to read the rest.
Doing some of my own blog ranting, I came across a comment from you and came back to visit. Damn, boy, you have to get through and over this. It's killing you.
I recommend that you look at this site
http://www.jackmalebranche.com/hub/index.php/androphilia
And ignore Jack's "religious" affiliation. He is not a devil-worshipper, but an atheist with an imagination.
Link was too long. Reformatted:
http://www.jackmalebranche.com
/hub/index.php/androphilia
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