I am a Christian. I am a gay man. Here is chronicle of my symbolic journey west, toward adventure, challenge, mystery and ultimately peace.

Sunday, July 17, 2011


Major breakthrough for me this week...

I have a hard time moving on from things and adapting to change. I can do it, but only after some kicking and screaming. With this last relationship, there has been a lot of kicking, screaming, digging in heels and doing whatever it takes to keep it alive.

That could be tough because perhaps I should learn to on more quickly. But, what a gift, to remain so steadfast that my point of view and my goals did not change throughout this unorthodox relationship. Even now, I am still maintaining my original position, that I want to put our relationship back together. *That* should be admirable, and lend stability to an otherwise tough situation where some of the others made promises that were later broken and changed rules midstream without much consideration for how those would fully play out.

I never miss an opportunity to feel bad about myself; it seems I self-flog my own self repeatedly. For once, I found a reason to like myself, and I sort of like this new approach to find even small positivity in myself. Good for me, to be steadfast. Seems a lot like how God would want it.

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