Well, I haven't been blogging here all that much. But, I'm still around. I've been doing a tremendous amount of thinking......about how far I've actually come in the last few years, but how far I have yet to travel.
...about the warmth of being close to another man, of having such peace that I could fall asleep next to him.
...about how to work on my extremely introverted ways of interacting with other people.
...about how to be more authentic.
...about why I pull back so severly at times.
...about porn and why I view it.
...about who to come out to next, if anyone. On one hand, I'm worn out from some people knowing and others not and keeping track of who is who. On the other, how do I bring this up with some people?
...about what those same people will think of me if they know I am attracted to men.
...about finding a new template for this blog. (I'm open for suggestions.)
...about my readiness for a relationship, and my hopes that I could really serve other man unselfishly, making him the best he could possibly be.
...about how my Bible goes unread for long periods of time.
...about how I never give a second-glance to a beautiful woman. I know when women are beautiful, I just have very little physical attraction. (Could they please just leave their clothes on?)
...about how I wish I could lose some weight.
...about the discipline in my life, or lack thereof.
...about if my sexuality is one big unachievable fantasy that I made up.
...about what God thinks about when he sees how I conduct my life.
...and lastly, about how to continue moving westward, toward peace and comfort and resolution.
2 comments:
Dear Journeyman, keep at it. I know the struggles of which you speak, and it IS difficult. Stop thinking about the destination. After all, if you get "there" what will you do?
Engage and enjoy the journey, with all its ups and downs.
Shalome & Cheers, Joe
Remember that those things that you perhaps see as "flaws" are the very things that will make you of some earthly good to others.
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