I've been thinking about pictures today. In fact, I put pictures in my blog posts more often than not. Today, I think I'll just leave them out, as if their absense drives part of my message.
Over the past few days, I have looked at some beautiful pictures of men. Oh man, beau-ti-ful!! This thing called the Internet connects millions of people at a moment's notice, and allows us to communicate in ways that boggle my mind at times. But it also brings pictures with it. Lots of pictures.
I'm not always certain what to do with my browsing of pictures. I'll honestly tell you that I find G-rated photos probably more appealing than the full out XXX version. I want to see someone's face, to see their smile and their eyes and their demeanor, if that's even possible to capture with a picture. (Can you photoshop something as vague as demeanor into a picture??)
So I'm left with this uneasy feeling as to what to do with pictures. Some friends of mine tell me I'm way way way too hard on myself about looking at "those kinds" of pictures of guys. And I am quite hard on myself, because I don't know that it's something God would want me to do. They tell me that most people look at those kinds of pictures. And I wonder if that really is true.
Then I think about what goes through my mind when I look at these pictures. It typically is not, "Boy, I'd like to do all sorts of things to that guy." I don't regularly get the stirring down below. Instead, I find myself appreciating the beauty I see in the male form. And I hear in my head all those things I heard my straight college friends say about straight pictures, about how God created the female body and it should be enjoyed. I do not question that so much, but I know that I personally have all those thoughts about dudes and images of dudes. Strangely, it gives me a small amount of comfort to know that while the object of my interests may be different from a majority of society, that the feelings that accompany those ideas are quite similar.
So what do I do with the pictures? Even the ones on my computer screen right now? Eliminate them? Enjoy them? Moderate them? Censor them? Thus ends my really odd ramble cleverly disguised as a blog post.
Take care, good friends. Enjoy your weekend.
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About Me
- Journeyman
- But inside I am hurting. I love Jesus. I am gay. I do dumb stuff. I long for peace within myself.
10 comments:
ok, what to do, in our case, you enjoy them, the male body is, um, gorgeous and meant to be enjoyed, i have resolved in my little pea brain that i am ok with God, i think he is ok with me, he created me, he made me, as screwed up as i am he made me....so dear friend, embrace who you are, don't be ashamed anymore, once you feel it, embrace it, you will look at the whole world alot different than you do now, simple things like a rose, or a sunrise will show incredible new beauty, just enjoy my friend, enjoy
Well I often struggle with this same issue. I cut way back on the looking myself, but it does not sound that you are looking with lust in your heart so maybe you are ok, try to be decent but also remember you are male and we are hard wired sexually to what we see. I also find the G rated pictures hold more for me than xxx rated.
Steven.
For years, I've felt shame looking at pictures of guys (and looking at the real thing, too). And I do not find myself "undressing" them or thinking about sex with them (well, once in a while, but not so much). I simply enjoy their good looks.
BUT I usually think that I do not measure up, and I wish I looked like them. That's not always so good.
As I have worked through some of the issues of coming out, I have gotten to the point of just enjoying it. When I've been to a gay bar, it hasn't been to pick anyone up but just to admire. Sure, I get and give some hugs and a grope or two. But I haven't taken anyone home. I just enjoy the companionship.
I'd suggest you go easy on yourself. Enjoy the beauty and the wonder. God is never as hard on us as we are on ourselves.
And, more than pictures, enjoy the real thing. And when you see a hot one, let out a little "woof."
Well....it could be that you are idolizing the men in the photos. It may be this part that's making you uncomfortable because you are setting God's creation in a place (in your heart at that moment) above the creator. It's really something between you and God...as far as what you do with them....how you deal with them in order to get rid of that uncomfortable feeling you are getting, which sounds like to me, is coming from the Holy Spirit in you. Sometimes I've had to give things up even for a season...just to get my priorities back in line and regain my grip on the fact that God really does provide all I need.
Sorry for being so rambling. I'm trying to give you some ideas without sounding like I'm condemning you for looking at the pictures. I admire the fact that you are listening to the Spirit and being transparent about your struggles as a Christian.
Hey, bro. How are you doing?
where are you dear friend, hope your ok.,......heres a hug from cleveland
Hello, where are you? You doing OK?
beartoast@yahoo.com
Where did you run off to??? Hope everything is alright...
i am looking for a certain journeyman......where oh where did your journey take you.........send up a flag and let me know your ok
where ever you are my friend i hope you are well, safe and have a wonderful thanksgiving...drop me an e mail let me know your ok....you worry me sometimes
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