Rest

I've been off the blog for a while. I have been tired. I sure seem to be sleeping a lot lately. These shorter days, now bringing darkness an hour earlier, just do not sit well with me.

However, the great news is that my sleep has been much more peaceful lately than it has been for a long time. I tend to climb into bed around the same time each night--far earlier than my friends think I should for a guy my age--and then sleep soundly for a good long while. Fewer panicky middle-of-the-night awakenings. Fewer restless nights laying in bed wondering if I will ever fall asleep. Fewer thoughts scrambling around the blender.

Quite some time ago I told a trusted companion that I could manage to get sleep, but that I really longed for rest. For the first time since I seriously engaged this journey of mine, I am beginning to experience rest. I have unpacked an incredible amount of my story over the past several months. A couple friends told me this week that they now sensed hope in me, and that even 12 months ago they were very very worried about my attitude and demeanor. They like seeing my smile, and I like seeing it too.

Now if I could just see this guy when I wake up in the morning. =) For now, that isn't happening. But it is fun to dream, especially while I rest.