OK. I think I'm OK. I am calming down just a bit. Wouldn't it be great to be calm like this guy? Or perhaps even better, to be the one he lays on, guarding his thoughts and his sleep in quiet tenderness? Knowing that you love another man so much that you want to hold him until he stops crying and falls into peaceful rest on your warm skin?
So...yeah...I'm thinking straight guys don't have thoughts like that so often. I question myself so much as to sometimes cause my own confusion.
I guess I just get really high-strung at times. My thoughts move faster and faster until they become a blinding tornado that I feel trapped in. So now with a blog to write in, I tend to come here and vomit it all up. I'm hoping this is better than simply holding everything in, a pattern I have followed for far too long already.
I wonder if I was just testing myself, or checking myself, when I was in the bookstore the other day. I wondered if I could possibly get aroused by a picture which included a woman. Guess what? I suppose I can. Which proves what? In my mind, perhaps very little. It proves that a sexually-charged picture can make me sexually charged. And that would make me pretty darn normal.
Had to get a post in today due to some gentle prodding from the North Woods Guys. They are pretty amazing gentlemen. But most of you already know that since nearly all my traffic comes from their blog. LOL And many many thanks to those who left comments. You are incredibly wise men; I appreciate your insight and your encouragement in my journey west.
1 comment:
I'm pretty confident to say that I'm a gay man. In fact, i've always known that I was gay since early childhood. (That doesn't mean I accepted myself for that long though).
About two years ago, I was shocked and surprised to discover that i was actually capable of getting an erection by thinking of a woman. That is definitely not typical! However, when it happened, I began to wonder if it was possible for me to change. Afterwards, I realized that the point isn't that I was able to get aroused. The point is that I had to make an effort to get aroused.
It doesn't take much effort on my part to get aroused at looking at men - photos, on tv, in movies, at restaurants, walking down the street, etc.... The arousal happens naturally. I think that is the point.
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